Monday, April 20, 2009

Knyfe Hyts

"Knyfe Hyts—borne of Mystery—Some say Newe Yorke Towne, Some say the Titan Wynds of that Great Blacke Sea Karadeniz, and as the Elders have spake—dubiously lynked to that Knowne bande of the borough of Broklyn, Ex Models, though none able to apply great proof to this Conjeckture, certainly Knyfe Hytz hath created Musik as Mysterious and Powerfull as Themselvez…For they allways Headline Each Show for the mere Facte that They hath Burnt Downe the Club. As they hath done at Silent Barn, and on Halloween at Knitting Factory, by Firey Solos.

Indeed they are a Trinity, tho’ converse to that Holy One, for they are Unholy. They go by names—

Bubo V, Diety of the Aoelian Elven,
Brother Khatamkari, Summoner of the Twelve VooDoo Spyritz of Chango,
Brother Minakari, Eater of Gilden Sons

Knyfe Hyts, that new band using Rhythms of Olde, Byfore the grooves of Time. Many have been knowed by Ancients as the Spyrit of the Ancient Pulse, yet none since the Dawn of Civilized Man. It is now Time upon Earth to be Knowed in thine Clubs, as they have shown thems-elves in Human Form playing with the Mortals—Flower Travellin' Band, Love is All, Deerhunter, Oneida, Golden Triangle, Ex Models, Carsick Cars, Marnie Stern, Bob Bert, Japanther, High Places among others, though None can “Smoke The Milk” as Knyfe Hyts jamz…

Of Knyfe Hytz Musikal Candor, It hath been said by lesser sages that the Knyfe Hytz Sounde is as certain to come before, or that the sound is of EX MODELS SMOKING HASHISH—they are the great many fooles, tho’ the Monstrous Bande knowed as Knyfe Hyts hath Spake of the Great Major Musikal Influencez—

Of the poisonous Venom, Of that Olde and Greate Iron Maiden, and of that NEW WAVE OF BRITISH HEAVY METAL, as well as Silver Apples and those Knyfe Hyts known to Worship Fire and Ice, Guitar Solos, Lyre Solos, and Breeds in the Bustyng Tubes of The Speaker Cones.

Though they have much in Store, as has been Prophesyzed by the Elders of Sybilline, they have already Shown Their Musical Nature: ‘KNYFE HYTS’ Cassette, Their Musick Summoned on self titled Tape of Cassette by Party Store Records, thus followed by Tape II: Sword of the Lord, both-the-which tapes soon to be reprinted on mechanical vinyl press by BRAH RECORDS, YET NOT BEFORE THE APRIL 20TH 2009 RELEASE of Pure Vinyl Record, the long-divined SCREMING LOV 12”, of whose existence only 100 copies hath been hand forged by DICK MOVE RECORDS.

They are Known To Have visited the Orient of CHINA in search of spices, with that other cadre of Fools EX MODELS, and Slayed about New York, and Toured the Carnival of Mardi Gras 2008 with navigators Golden Triangle, and the colleges of Newe England with DEERHUNTER. The Knyfe Hyts Band, it lives in Your Brain, for Speed and Shred, and Dies for the Slowe Jam…"

Ladies and gentlemen, for your listening pleasure, Knyfe Hyts.

Screming Lov b/w We Go Wanderin' (Dick Move)
1. Screming Lov
2. We Go Wanderin'
3. Screming Lov (Brenmar Remix)


:: Pukekos, Monster Island, Secret Project Robot, Todd P, and Knyfe Hyts Present

:: A Dick Move Production
:: Knyfe Hyts in "Best of Five"
:: Starring Bubo V, Brother Khatamkari, Brother Minakari
:: Invocation in three steps by Micki Pellerano
:: Featuring BJ Rubin as Master of Ceremonies

::: Knyfe Hyts perform Monday's Perfume [the Sheep]: "Hyts (Summer)" to "Sun"
::::: Knyfe Hyts perform Friday's Perfume [the Pig]: "Gnomes" to "Lov U Mor"

::::::: Knyfe Hyts perform "Smoke The Milk"

::::::::: with projections by Mighty Robot A/V Squad, sets by "Mad" Eli Lehrhoff & Co., costuming by Arthur Arbit, and makeup by Vashti Windish.

128 River St @ Metropolitan Ave | Williamsburg, Brooklyn
L-Bedford, G-Metropolitan, JM-Marcy | 9:30pm | all ages | $4.20


snivel and run said...

sweet jesus, thank you!

eli. said...

i actually am listed in the credits. as smoke machine.

Tom Ritchford said...

Thanks for the recommendation - saw the show with a friend of mine - it was most excellent!