Long before I ever heard Teen Crud Combo, my good friend Erin McDermott used to email me the lyrics for no apparent reason. She was having some sort of relationship (I will leave which sort up to you to figure out) with Nick Flanagan (who I didn't meet until a few years later when he stayed with me for a night) and thought that I might enjoy his lyrics. I did and do.
Nick looks less like me than people say, although I haven't heard it in a while. The last time we were in a room together was not all that recent, however.
I was able to dig in my email and find the following lyrics for you:
If be ugly-young-dimwitted before Nick good
ask for beer it to be buying nick can, will and should
much not sexy but promiscuous-bonus points
you veterans of sex having after smoking joints
girl did tug on dong
dong became half long
in front of the green office building
hand job was performed
girl who did take part in handjob
sloppy white trash skanks
in tubes tops and capris
girls so nasty their gross snatches
scare away the fleas(repeat verse)
girl did open legs
smell did peel paint
yeah yeah yeah
Early to bed, early to rise, if go Yonge street Awful brothers be wise
not entering stores or purchasing food,see eye-popping ladies,
remarks made are crude!
arcade comes in sight, only stop on the trip
play street fighter 3 and ask Chinaman for a tip
game shack hath received to buy what dave hath once reserved
from now on upon his door it states do not disturb
HMV is the best with a beatable selection of tapes
the early bros embark on a quest in search of babes, electronica
and to see breast
the quest is enjoyed, it cost too much coin
rock stores smell like man with cerebral palsy's sheet
The time is noon and I am sitting with several of my friends
The general consencus is lunch-time is near
Perusing the menus of four-star delicatessens
Important to decision is if parking in rear
Reuban is the choice of my bolder friends
girls go bathroom for tampon adjusting, then...
Men agree for girls wash dishx2
men agree girls need suck dick
because they want eat sperm
The men are happy about their ideas on women
the food is then brought to the table quite promptly
women go bathroom for vagisil applying
'that time of month' make them disabled and easy
Women enjoy to clean-it is genetic.
Men enjoy women enjoying clean-also genetic.
Men agree for girls wash dishx2
men agree girls want big chest because they know dudes like
Eating delicious food is a hobby
with my friends Paula, Jack and Bobby
The meal is finished, we are done.
Job of wash dish for Paula, cause woman.
'Paula'-molive is our new name for Palmolive
as it is utilised by Paula on plates
men agree for girls wash dishx2
men agree girls will get rich
if fulfill needs of guys.
AWFUL BROS. NIGHT:
The Awful Brothers, we meet again
over rib torpedoes, daft punk in den
do you dare challenge me to a game
of street fighter alpha 3, made in "Japane"
Offspring record is my fave,
drink ovaltine until go pee
Humour garnered at the expense
of Columbine High school students
Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris
are funny as Mr. Bueller, Ferris.
Ladies and gentlemen, for your listening pleasure, a single by Teen Crud Combo.
TCC EP (Black Lung)
2. Beaver County (Pop: Nick)
3. Wash Dish
4. Awful Brothers Night