Monday, November 30, 2009

Knyfe Hyts

:::The Rite of The Broken Demon Knyfe Hytz Lutelust:::

As relayed to Ivan Shishkin by Charles Fort:

"Steyven Fyve, lo and he said of that ritual:

We broke the Tago Mago LP in half and threwe it on there, too, along with all the cherrey-honey - blood spilled from Combs - the Paisley, parsimmons of Conder, and Bubo whipped a rumbling broken bass string furiously onto the pile of Marijuana Leaves, configured in concentric circles around the
burial mound, and lo, Khatamkari added to the rising sacrifices: Every empty crushed PBR cans from all yesterday's parties, the piano playing in your grave, saccharine Jewelry, plastic Bones.

To this, Brother Minakari slabbed candelabras of mystery and wonder, half-digested barbituates and detritus from the stomach pump of Jersey.

On the outskirts of the mound, four thousand drums beaeten by mutant humonculous, givers of power.

The virgin amphetamines were sacrificed, and Up rose the FIREBALL sparkling and spraying sweet acid hale, brimstone cologne, couture poison.

Above the FIREBALL rose a humongous fetus - his belly glowing rad bright yellow markings. Fire was everywhere.

We read the cymbals. They said:


To this we replied:


And then it was done. The KNYFE HYTZ held plastic casings and encrypted themselvez upon these oxide spools, to be encased in the Black Stone of Ghalahali, and throwed in the ocean."

Ladies and gentlemen, for your listening pleasure, Knyfe Hyts.

Knyfe Hyts CS (Party Store)
1. Gnome Eaters
2. Runnin Free
3. Feelin Stoned
4. Exalted Tones
5. Hyts Of Summer
6. Little Black Rock

Sword Of The Lord CS (Party Store)
1. Sword Of The Lord
2. Trylon
3. Do You Want To Die?
4. I Lov U More
5. Spirits
6. Smoke The Milk

Screming Lov b/w We Go Wanderin' (Dick Move)
1. Screming Lov
2. We Go Wanderin'
3. Screming Lov (Brenmar Remix)

OIB Split Series Vol. 3 (OIB)
1. Hyts Of Summer

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


I have recently been reflecting upon the time I spent at Midnight Records. I have to say that I am thankful for my time there in some respects, as I learned about some great bands that not very many people remember. Quatermass is one of those bands (maybe some of you have heard of them, and you can take advantage of this opportunity to reacquaint yourselves with their tunes).

As far as progressive rock goes, they are a pretty classic example of a bass organ drums trio. It doesn't hurt that it was recorded at Abbey Road with a 16 piece violin section, 6 piece viola section, 6 piece cello section, and you can't forget the 3 piece double bass section. I mean, the record just wouldn't sound the same without all those strings, etc.

This is the sort of record I enjoy listening to whilst bicycling stoned (I wear a helmet, don't worry). It helps me "think".

I don't own the original vinyl, as I wasn't born rich or in the early 70s. This reissue sounds fine to me, and has bonus tracks too (it was originally issued on the Harvest label out of the UK in 1970).

Look out for the drum solo. It's in there. If you are looking for over the top (and I always am), look no further.

Ladies and gentlemen, for your listening pleasure, Quatermass.

Quatermass (Akarma)

1. Entropy
2. Black Sheep Of The Family
3. Post War Saturday Echo
4. Good Lord Knows
5. Up On The Ground
6. Gemini
7. Make Up Your Mind
8. Laughin' Tackle
9. Entropy
10. One Blind Mice
11. Punting

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

She Keeps Bees

I have to say, Andy and Jess make me laugh and laugh. In fact, it is hard for me to even think about them without laughing. Go ahead, you try it.

I mean, the first time I saw She Keeps Bees I got so carried away I started drunkenly yelling at them during their set. I walked up and introduced myself to them afterwords and not missing a beat, Jess handed me a 12" they had pressed themselves. My kind of people, etc.

This is the sort of email you are likely to receive from Andy, should you be the sort of person to receive such things:

"Andy here. Attached is the artwork you requested. Also, you will find a picture from an indoor ski hill which we played at recently. This may or may be of interest but we thought it was hilarious.

About the record: it contains two songs from an EP we recorded in 2007 on side A (1. Pile Up 2. Stutter) and two songs from our most recent record on the Bee side (3. Get Gone 4. Cold Eye). It was released in 2008 and limited to 100 copies, each with collage cover art made by Jessica. The art attached is the one we made for ourselves, so we figured it would work as general art for your post.

Trying to think of interesting things about the recordings... at the end of Get Gone you can hear me stand up and start walking over to the computer to hit stop.

The A side is two of the four songs we've ever recorded at a real studio.

Ummm, we haven't left the house for three days. Thank you thank you thank you!


P.S. I also attached a new photo of us if you need it."

Jess has recently become interested in lunar trivia, and wanted to share this:

"NEW MOON in Scorpio was on Monday night Nov 16th kids.

Here's some good old facts about the moon:

-The moon rotates at 10 miles per hour compared to the earth's rotation of 1000 miles per hour.

-More than 400 Moon trees are are planted all over the world. They don't know where though. Grown from seeds that were taken to the moon and back on Apollo 14 in January 31, 1971. Pilot for the mission brought along a canister full of Sycamore, Redwood, Sweet gum, and Douglas Fir.

-The Moon is moving away from us. Each year, the Moon steals some of Earth's rotational energy, and uses it to propel itself about 3.8 centimeters higher in its orbit.

-The Moon is not round (or spherical). Instead, it's shaped like an egg.

-High tide aligns with the Moon as Earth spins underneath. Another high tide occurs on the opposite side of the planet because gravity pulls Earth toward the Moon more than it pulls the water.

Moon lady says:

-During the new moon (RIGHT NOW)... we should honor the time we need to receive and gain guidance. In the darkness you can let things germinate. Take it all in.

-During the full moon... see what is brought into the light. What needs to be stripped away. What is necessary to continue growth rather than what has become habit.

-The moon is far older than previously expected. Maybe even older than the Earth or the Sun. The oldest age for the Earth is estimated to be 4.6 billion years old; moon rocks were dated at 5.3 billion years old, and the dust upon which they were resting was at least another billion years older.

-Moon rocks are magnetized. This is odd because there is no magnetic field on the moon itself. This could not have originated from a 'close call' with Earth—such an encounter would have ripped the moon apart."

Ladies and gentlemen, for your listening pleasure, She Keeps Bees.

She Keeps Bees EP (Pukekos)
1. Pile Up
2. Stutter
3. Get Gone
4. Cold Eye

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Parts & Labor

BJ Warshaw and myself have both lived in Brooklyn for some time now. When we were younger we would occasionally get confused for each other, much to our chagrin and/or amusement. I asked him to elaborate:

"There were a lot of mix-ups back then, and my friends and I only knew that there was some other dude walking around Brooklyn with similar haircut, sideburns, and glasses. We called him the Doppelganger.

One time me and my roommates were throwing a party. A couple of friends were on there way over in a taxi. One of them was bringing a girl he'd just started dating (I can't recall her name, let's call her Bridgette). She asked him, 'So who's party is this?' He replied, "My friend, BJ." She was like, 'I hate that guy!' My friend described me, and it fit the bill.  She flipped out, refused to go, and demanded to be let out of the car! When he got to the party, he asked me what I'd done to piss Bridgette off. And I'd never heard of the girl. I chalked it up to the Doppelganger.

For a year in 1998-99 I lived around the corner from this bar, Mona's, in the East Village.  I used to spend a ton of time there shooting pool and drinking cheap Guinness. One time I went in and my name was already on the chalk board for pool matches. I figured my buddy Ray had put my name up, as was the customary thing to do when you saw a pool regular walk in. I got a drink, sat next to Ray, said, 'Thanks for putting my name up.' He replied, 'Uh... you put your name up, I just saw you do it.' It totally fucked with my head, to the point where I was seriously questioning my short term memory.

Another time I remember being at a party, talking to a girl, and introducing myself. She said a guy named BJ once put a cigarette out on her friend's jacket. I had to explain that it wasn't me, but I'm not sure that she believed me.

It was months before we actually met. We frequented the same places, the early Todd P shows, loft parties, etc, but somehow never met for, I think, almost a year. I was friends with other Oakland transplants that had known him on the West Coast. And I remember just missing him over and over again. Friends of mine wanted to plan a showdown in the street, a BJ battle royale.

I DO remember when we finally first came face to face. It was at a Melt Banana at the Knitting Factory. BJ was sitting alone at small table against the wall and I knew, immediately, that he had to be the Doppelganger. I bought a drink and walked over to his table and said, 'Are you BJ?'

He looked up at me and skeptically said, 'Yeah.'

I slammed my beer down on the table and said, 'I'm BJ, too, and this town ain't big enough for the both of us.'

I was trying to be half-funny, but he just looked at me like I was a total fucking dick, kinda shrugged, and kept drinking his beer.

After that, though, I think we became pals, although it took a while and was certainly weird having the same unusual name within a relatively small community."

You want to know something? I did think he was a dick at first because of that, although now I realize it was just his way of being friendly.

One night we were both at the same loft party in Williamsburg, which wasn't unusual for the time. There was a long line for the bathroom, and a note on the door informing us that the toilet was busted and that nothing should be deposited there.

I was not waiting in line to dispose of liquid waste, unfortunately. As this was during an era of heavy drinking (for both myself and Warshaw, I would imagine), I started drunkenly claiming that I was going to relieve myself in the bathtub. When I finally gained access to said facilities, I noticed that the toilet was backed up but still serviceable for my purposes and thus did not utilize the bathtub as I had initially claimed I would.

At some point in the evening, someone actually did.

A few days later, the following appeared on the Troubleman website:


You know how we do. Represent for PAPER magazine's "Beautiful People" list for 2003: ROGERS SISTERS, TOUCHDOWN, and ABCS. Also don't forget our friends FORCEFIELD.

Go here or buy it at the new stands. Also quoted in that issue "The hottest NY label". Fuck you, we are from JERSEY and Buy Our Records is the best Jersey label EVER.

Playlist: BJ taking a shit in Pete's bath tub at the Fat Day show last weekend."

I saw this and emailed Mike Simonetti to clear up the matter. Apparently I wasn't the only one, as he later printed the following retraction:


Ok, BJ told me that he did not shit in anyone's tub this weekend. I also heard that the other BJ in NYC (from Parts & Labor) is getting shit (no pun intended) for it as well. Either way, whether BJ shit in a tub or not, you gotta admit it is a funny story!"

The real culprit was never found. As for the other allegations, I will say that as we both had a habit of drinking excessively and doing stupid shit that any of it could have been either of us. I don't specifically remember putting out a cigarette on anyone's jacket, but I don't specifically remember not doing it either.

BJ wrote me the following note when I informed him that I had tracked down an open copy of the first Parts & Labor tour EP for inclusion:

"Hey BJ,

Attached is my copy's cover of the Oh My God The Van Is On Fire EP. This was our first release, a limited run of CDRs that we sold at our early shows and during our first tour in 2003. Each copy was hand made using torn, colored gaffers' tape wrapped around a cardboard CD case (so the buyer had to cut/tear the tape to get the CDR out). We used one of those crappy label makers to write the band name, and often a little personalized message. I have no clue how many we made, definitely over 100 (but fewer than 500).

I'd spend time in the van or at the merch table wrapping the covers. After that first tour, I quit smoking. The covers became increasingly intricate and labor-intensive as a sort of physical addiction therapy to missing cigarettes. This scan is the one copy that I kept, and I think it probably took me a solid hour or two to make.

I'm psyched Chris had a copy of this, so I didn't have to tear open my nostalgia copy. Also psyched to hear these songs; I haven't listened to this EP in, literally, years!


The Chris he is referring to there is Chris Weingarten, former drummer of Parts & Labor. He had this story to tell about the band, circa 2005:

"One of the oldest journalismo tricks when interviewing a band is to ask, 'Did anything interesting or funny happen when recording the record.' Eighty percent of the time, that question yields a flat-out 'no,' because bands are generally boring, recording records is tedious and, let's be totally honest here, it's kind of a dumb question. However, the other 20 percent usually brings out a story so good that you can build an entire article around it. Stay Afraid was the first full-length record I ever recorded with Parts & Labor and damned if there wasn't  a completely phenomenal recording story to go with it. When we did press for the record, I waited with baited breath for someone to ask me, 'So, did anything interesting or funny happen when recording the record' because, yes, in fact, this time something interesting and funny happened. Alas, in the dozens of interviews we did, no one ever asked. So now I have to spend my Tuesday night typing it out myself.

We recorded Stay Afraid in 2005 at Brooklyn's Headgear Studios. Dave Sitek and TV On The Radio were recording Return To Cookie Mountain exactly one door down in Stay Gold. It was inspiring to walk by that door on the way to the studio and hear all kinds of oboes and weird clangs coming from behind the metal door. Our studio was pretty incredible too. We had producer Scott Norton who was a sweetheart and a badass and had tons of tape--tape!--that we could record on.

Anyway, one thing you should know about Dan and BJ of Parts & Labor is that they are notorious perfectionists. Their attitude towards getting the exact right sound, the exact right melody was at once inspiring and infuriating. I usually stuck around to break ties. Those dudes were total sound nerds who loved to produce and tinker. I spent a lot of that session chilling on the couch while they tweaked. At the time I was reading John Hersey's Hiroshima and the Spin magazine '100 greatest albums of the last 20 years' list, silently wondering to myself what kind of magic we'd have to stir up on this record to be in the next edition.

One day, I was laying down reading my book, with my feet facing out the door. I'm near-sighted and I take my glasses off when I read. So when I saw this blurry figure coming down the hallway, I didn't recognize him at first. I THOUGHT I knew him so I waved anyway. He waved back. I put my glasses on and saw that, yes, I did recognize him--but I've never met him before. I guess you can say he was a notorious figure whose name had gotten around Brooklyn a little bit at the time. BJ, Dan and Scott were hunched over the mixing console intently working out a song that was blaring through the Headgear speakers. Our guest patiently played the wall, chilling next to me, dead silent for the few minutes it took for them to wrap up.

'Excuse me, is David here?' he said, inches from me at the back of the room, asking for David Sitek. Scott turned around, clearly caught off guard by our guest, and immediately stuttered out, 'Yeah, let me take you to him,' and, without hesitation, immediately escorted him down the hall.

This dude was pretty well known around Williamsburg, so I was clearly impressed by this stranger's presence on our humble session. BJ and Dan, however were totally unphased. They were older than me, they had played more shows than me, and they had made more records than me, so I thought they were just over things like gossip and celebrities. I didn't want our strange guest and our producer to hear us talking, so I went up to where my bandmates were and started whispering.

'Oh, you guys are too cool for school, huh?'

They looked at me like I was a jerk. I was kind of being a jerk about it. I couldn't believe these two were so jaded!

'You two don't want to look like dorks in front of Scott? Is that it?' I whispered as low as I could muster.

Again, blank stares.

I continued to whisper: 'It's like the dog humped the couch and everyone's pretending nothing happened.'

BJ picked up the cues and whispered back. 'The dog humped the couch?' he said to me, clearly confused at my line of questioning.

'Guys, I'm talking about the amazing thing that just happened, that you two are pretending didn't happen.'

'Chris,' BJ said to me, very quietly, with what must have been remarkable patience, 'What the fuck are you talking about?'

'That David Bowie was just in our studio!'

The room was dead silent for a few seconds. We stared at each other. The tension was broke when BJ loudly blurted out, 'That wasn't David Bowie!' When Bowie came in, Dan had been too involved in the production to turn around. BJ, hilariously, actually DID turn around, saw him in the corner of his eye, and didn't process that it could actually be Ziggy Stardust back there.

We went back and forth for a few minutes until BJ  hopped off his stool to investigate. He comes back 10 minutes later, and says, 'Well, that was David Bowie.'

Turns out David told the TVOTR dudes that he kind of liked what we were putting down (yay!) and even chopped it up with them a little about his love of Lightning Bolt and a pre-Battles Tyondai Braxton. Shit, most people in Brooklyn weren't even hip to Tyondai at that point, that's how cool that guy is. Anyway, David Bowie, thank you for providing us with an interesting story."

So now you will always know which BJ is which, etc.

Ladies and gentlemen, for your listening pleasure, Parts & Labor.

Oh My God The Van's On Fire EP (Pukekos)
1. RC1
2. Autopilot
3. Groundswell
4. Railgun
5. Broken Man Going To Work
6. RC2
7. The Intervention
8. Parts & Labor

Parts & Labor (JMZ)
1. Parts & Labor
2. Mike Burke For President
3. Japanda

Groundswell (JMZ)
1. It's Not the End of the World
2. Autopilot
3. Mike Burke for President
4. Intervention
5. Parts & Labor
6. Happy New Year
7. Railgun
8. Broken Man Going to Work
9. TB Strut
10. Groundswell

Rise, Rise, Rise (Narnack)
1. Don't Just Fucking Stand There
2. Days In Thirds
3. Jurassic Technology
4. Good Morning Black Eye
5. Voltage
6. Probably Feeling Better Already
7. The Endless Air Show

Confuse Yr Idols: A Tribute To Sonic Youth (Narnack)
1. Sugar Kane

A Great Divide b/w Take Us Back (Plastic)
1. A Great Divide
2. Take Us Back

PAarts & LAabor (Cardboard)
1. Silent Tyrants

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

World War IX

Justin Melkmann is a senior producer at The Daily Show, draws comics (one hilarious one involves GG Allin and is included in the download) and plays in a punk rock band. How do you spend your time?

Ladies and gentlemen, for your listening pleasure, World War IX.

Slap in the Face: My Obsession with GG Allin (Self)
1. Slap in the Face: My Obsession with GG Allin

Brown Bagging It (Red Black & Blue)

1. Portrait of Sobriety
2. Treasure Hunt
3. Jesus Freaks
4. Employee of the Month

Monday, November 2, 2009


In 2006, Paper Rad put out a DVD called Trash Talking. Hidden somewhere in that DVD is a hilarious television pilot for a show called Alfe.

I was involved with some friends in a production company at the time and we were working on bringing Alfe to series. Meetings were even had with Adult Swim, etc.

As a result of these dealings, I acquired a copy of the Alfe pilot. I recently wrote to Ben Jones and inquired about posting it here for you, the world, to see. This was his response:

"If it has an artistic value to you and the site then you should post it outside of anything I think or the label that released it (Load Records) thinks."

Here is it, presented alone and in its entirety:

Gone Cabin Carzy (Pukekos)
1. Gone Cabin Carzy